Daddy Ive been sitting in the kitchen at exactly 6:00 o clock every day for 24 years waiting for your call. Waiting for you to come home. The only time I ever missed a call from you was around my 7th birthday. I waited by the mailbox all day for your gift to come. A family friend said he had picked it up for me and left it in his apartment. I went with him to get it. I received your present but lost my innocence.
All black men feel unsafe now. All black men feel unsafe now.
I needed you To show up ready to love me. Now I can’t show up. I can’t love you. I can’t love any of you. I can hardly love myself.
Why was I made from a love story that never truly began. We never had our chance to nurture a father daughter love. Once you moved back in. I quickly became your mother. Keeping track of your meds, hiding your condoms from Mama so I wouldn’t have to hear her cry. Why was it so hard for you to love us? Why is it still so hard for you to love yourself. Mama called and said its MS. I called back and said bullshit. You don’t get to die. You don’t get to suffer that way. No fucking way. I still need you to show up for me. I am still waiting in the kitchen and its almost 6 o clock.