I need to embark on a journey to fully love myself. My weight goes up and down and with each pound, whether gianed or lost the question “can we still love this” bubbles to the surface. My most faithful relationship is with racism. I battle microagressions and racist acts against my person every fucking day. Each time I go for an interview, grocery shopping, or to the doctors office it feels like I’m trudging through quicksand as I fight to prove my worth to people in the world and most importantly myself. I’m tired of y’all. I’m tired of trying to prove anything to anyone. I need to take each pound of this body and learn how to make love to it better than any man or woman could claim too. I need to bask in this melanin until my soul rattles in celebration of the very skin it gets to wear proudly everyday. I need to call out my name and proclaim that she is more than loved, she is chosen for love. Worthy of goodness and mercy. Unconditionally treasured and beloved. I need to, today. Today is a new beginning.